BB’s Arranged Marriage

I’m getting a little sick of Western journalists’ constant reference to Benazir Bhutto and Asif Zardari’s marriage as arranged. Today I read a comment that said: “Asif Zardari, Bhutto’s arranged marriage husband…” Relevance? Why is it relevant? Are they so ignorant as to think that an aspiring leader of a very conservative Muslim country would even opt for a “love” marriage? Do they really have such a lack of understanding about Pakistani culture? If so, can we trust their opinion and analysis about this topic?

In Pakistan the vast majority of marriages are arranged. Choosing one’s own spouse is problematic. There are thousands of honour killings every year because of people (mostly women) wanting to marry for love. In fact, non-arranged marriages are so rare, that they’re referred to as “love” marriages. When someone says that two people got married, we automatically assume that their marriage was arranged because if it wasn’t, the couples entire romance would have been revealed to you.

I guess that the fact that arranged marriages are so rare in the west is what gives them that novelty. They are our equivalent of “love” marriages, yet I still think this constant reference to BB and Zardari’s marriage as arranged is getting a little annoying. It would be fine if written in an article about her life, but it’s not ok when it’s used out of context. Arranged marriages often revoke horror and thoughts of oppression in western readers. Just reading the words “arranged marriage” automatically leads to a judgement, often negative, being formed by the reader. And it’s not right to slot and pigeon hole all arranged marriages. There are many different sorts. I highly doubt Benazir Bhutto didn’t consent to her marriage. I also doubt that she didn’t know who she was marrying. I would be surprised if I found out that they hadn’t met before the wedding, as is the case in many, many arranged marriages.

My point is that western journalists need to stop demonizing us- the ones who she belonged to. It is the western journalists who are looking in. In this case, they are the “other”.