Violence against teachers

No matter what one feels about a teacher, pushing one is totally unacceptable. Sure I had teachers I wanted to hit, throw shoes at and push off cliffs. But I didn’t because that would just be heinous, despicable…

Today one of my students shoved me more than once. Actually he’s no longer my student. My class had seven bad eggs who were pulling the rest of the class down. At first, the school wasn’t too bothered until one day when I just lost it. I was ready to quit. When I gave detention, they pet the kids and told them to behave. When I insisted, they told me not to because it would make me unpopular. Like I’m there to make friends. When I issued pink cards, they would, again, give the kids a warning (pink cards are complaints that go on their permanent records). Once I insisted upon issuing the pink card and it was given to the kid who in turn went home and wept. He created this whole fuss about how I was targeting him. So his mother refused to sign it and sent it back. The result? He was free to do as he pleased again.

Actually this student is quite a conniving little fellow and his parents let him get away with murder. At the parent teacher meeting, I expressed my concern and told them that he had a behaviour problem. They refused to believe me. They kept implying that I was lying and kept defending him. “You’re the ONLY teacher that has a problem with him!” they declared. I was left stupefied. If my teachers had said something like that about me, my mother would have hung me upside down from a fan and then switched it on full blast. In fact, they were so clueless and delusional about their child that they kept telling me how all the other teachers loved him and how he was the best thing that could ever happen. They told me to adjust my behaviour and they implied that I deserved what I got. What really pissed me off was the fact that I had heard three other teachers complain to them in front of me. I have severe issues with parents like that and I’m very glad I don’t have to deal with them anymore.

So, at the beginning of this term, I kicked out 7 boys. I was more than happy to be rid of them. It’s one thing to have a bad student, but it’s quite another to have a bad person as a student. They’re still royal pains in the behind though. They make a huge effort to disrupt the class and take ages to leave when I walk in. But today just took the cake…

I walked into class. The sports teacher gave the kids permission forms for something or the other. I don’t really care. The offender- the one who pushed me- grabbed all the forms and started pretending to distribute them. In reality, he was causing a ruckus and deliberately stalling. His teacher, for reasons unknown to me, doesn’t care if they show up late, so they feel free to wander around at will. That’s why they deliberately cause havoc and make a huge show out of leaving. They take ages to pack their bags. The kid with the delusional parents always yells and makes one hell of a lot of noise. Today, when I complained about that, he lied with such a straight face that I was left amazed. And I completely blame his parents.

Anyway, the violent child who was pretending to distribute the papers, had to be told off. He absolutely refused to leave. I took his bag and was going to put it outside so that he wouldn’t make a big fuss about the bag. He often takes about two whole minutes to hoist it on his back. He saw me take the bag and he grabbed it. Knowing that I had a firm grip on it, he grabbed it and started shoving me. I managed to hold on to the bag and I put it outside. Once outside, he started shoving the door into me. He knew I was standing behind it since it is mostly glass. He could see me quite clearly. He repeatedly shoved the door into me. Then he left.

I was livid. I couldn’t believe that a student would ever resort to physically abusing the teacher. Never did I think it would happen to me and I truly hope it doesn’t happen to another teacher. The Principal was very understanding. She gave him a tight slap, which was really quite satisfying to watch. Then she suspended him for 2 days.

The people who know me are as livid as I am about this. In fact, a few have suggested that this punishment isn’t enough. I don’t know what to think anymore. Private schools are equally to blame for this terrible attitude. They cater to the parents and the result- not to the actual development of the child. I don’t think they educate in the true sense. Yes, they are a far better option than our local government schools, but that’s not enough. It’s not enough to get good grades. A good education should teach you respect for humanity and the environment. I feel damn lucky to have been part of UWC for I truly got a wonderful overall education there. We need schools like UWC here desperately. I aim to open one as soon as I can save enough money. It’s a long way off, but I am adamant about making it happen some day. I certainly don’t ever want to see my siblings’ kids in any school that doesn’t provide them with a comprehensive education. The O level system is ridiculous. It’s based on gimmicks and points. I have personally taught kids who can hardly speak English, yet they got A’s. The system has been cracked and the leaks are soon going to burst. Anyone with me?

Seasonal Money

Education is an odd profession to adopt, especially as a teacher. In this country, where there are no teacher’s unions in the private sector, it is very easy to have your pay cut left, right and centre, and not be able to do anything about it. After all, you have nothing to rely on. Your fellow teachers also will not be able to help you take a stand for fear of losing the little they do make. Your school will find wonderful excuses ranging from absences for which you submitted a doctor’s note (“Well excuse me for tearing the ligaments right off my foot!”) to the fact that during exam time we teachers apparently shouldn’t get paid as much since we’re not active in school- forget the fact that we’re slaving away marking papers at home. Yes, education in this country is truly a warped, exploitative business, and one that practically every private school perpetuates.

Ironically, you can make far more money working part time rather than full time in any given school. As a part time teacher, you work less hours (since you only have to come and go for your classes), and you can work at multiple places for the same amount (or more than) a full time teacher makes. As a full time teacher, far more is expected of your time. You WILL be needed for ridiculous school yard break duties. You WILL be needed to coach the debate team, to work in the school play, to tutor weak students after school… the list goes on. As a part time teacher, you can easily say no.

Obviously, the best way to make money in education is to be a tutor instead of a teacher. One on one tutoring, a service that very few people care for, is the most lucrative of the lot since you can charge well, and per hour, for such attention. However, it is very hard to come by, and you really have to be famous in order to get many clients. I, personally, would love to only tutor kids one on one since that’s where you can see the most improvement and create the most enthusiasm and love for learning. That is where the (lucrative and fulfilling) rewards of teaching are met in perfect harmony.

On a more realistic note, the other kind of tutoring that one can do is the good old fashioned stuff ‘em on the dining table and charge a flat rate kind. Creating a group of kids to tutor at home can be an easy and comfortable business, but this too is for teachers who are well known enough to have people calling them personally. The other kind is the tuition centre kind where you get 50 to 60 percent of your classes. The advantages of these are plenty: the tuition centre itself is very invested in you and will thus look for students for you. Another added plus is that you don’t have oily teens hanging around your house. You go in, teach, and go out. Even though the tuition centre will make your classes as large as possible, you probably won’t mind since you’re being paid per student- not a shitty lump sum.

My point is that the whole idea is to try and work less hours for more money. Use as many shortcuts as you can in this dog-eat-dog business. Sell yourself- pretend you’re willing to sell your soul. Don’t bother with loyalty since no teachers have loyalties anymore- we move on to where the money’s better without blinking an eye since we know we won’t be getting a raise anytime soon.

The fact of the matter is that teaching is not an easy profession, and in order to be a good teacher you have to be willing to work god damn hard. You should mark properly and recheck your marking twice, even thrice, every time. Prepare your lessons carefully- don’t just walk in and ad lib it. Do all the readings before you even assign them. Make sure you create some fun assignments so that you can sustain the class’s interest. Throw in random fun facts and ask them for their opinions. Create a safe environment; one where your students feel comfortable enough to open up and not feel embarrassed about anything they might say. Build up their confidence, and most of all, create a love for learning. Engrave it in their hearts and minds. Make sure they leave your class a little wiser, a little more mature and a hundred percent more idealistic.

No, you may not always get paid but sometimes, just sometimes, it can be worth it. The big hug from a grateful mother, the shocking improvement by weak students, your students’ new found thirst to make the world a better place… all these can lessen the pain and humiliation of having one’s pay cheque snipped for no good reason. They also help in the dry days of summer when there’s less work, therefore less money rolling in, and all you have is the knowledge that you’re doing what you do for the good of humanity. And sometimes, the crazy, overworked and overcrowded days of crunch time before exams can be well rewarded by the fat paycheque you receive at the end of the month from your tuition centre.

Teaching

My relationship with education has always verged on a love-hate one. Although I know that I love learning, and educating, there are times when I want to throw in the towel and do something, anything, other than just teach or read all day.

One of the reasons why I restarted my blog was so that I would have a reason to write. I vowed to post every single day but it’s not possibly when one is a teacher. It’s a twenty four job and a rather thankless one at times. It’s also very undervalued and under appreciated.

I often get told that I am a good teacher, and thus, for that reason alone, I should keep teaching and make a career in education. Frankly I think I’m not a great teacher at all, but one of the only ones in this town who actually does her job the way it’s meant to be done. Too many English teachers here do not even speak proper English; no wonder I seem better!

What people don’t realise is that teaching was always meant to be a temporary occupation for me. Although I do well in it, I am still not convinced that I want to pursue it as a profession. What frustrates me the most is the fact that people cannot understand why I teach. It is only because I can’t support myself as a writer yet. I’m also getting more and more drawn to music, and a career as a singer actually sounds more appealing to me than teaching for the rest of my life.

Education in Pakistan has too much dirty politics and the absence of a teacher’s union often leaves one exploited. I’ve had my pay cheque cut for no reason. I’ve been coerced into doing much more than I signed up for. No one (including my doctor) even considers the toll it takes on me. I miss reading. I haven’t read a book in over six months. I miss writing for many hours at a stretch instead of sporadically like I do now. The worst part is that I get very depressed because of teaching and trying to tell my bosses that is like banging my head against a wall. I often want to cry in school but hold it in until I get home. There are days when I just don’t want to get out of bed and get back to the same old bullshit. I detest the marking and wish I could dump it on someone else. I don’t mind the one on one tuitions, especially since there’s no marking involved, and I get paid very decently. Yet, even then, I often feel like I’m treating teaching like it’s just a job I have to get through. Teaching has done to me what nothing else ever had before. The trials and tribulations of my profession made me end up in the hospital with a panic attack. It takes away so much of my time that when I sit down with my ustaad to sing, I waste half the lesson yawning.

Yes, teaching can be rewarding but I’m beginning to question this regurgitated theory thrown at us over and over again to keep us motivated. The problem for me is that the bullshit outweighs the positives. Yes, teaching is indeed a profession that is both creative and makes one feel like one has made a difference. However, it is most definitely not for everyone. I’m beginning to think it’s time to throw in the towel before I begin to resent teaching and form a strong aversion to it.

I’m quite livid today.

5 A.M. I attempt to go to sleep, but no avail, despite the fact that my new medication is supposed to make me sleepy… Right…
Finally fall asleep at 5:45 and wake up at 6:00 covered in sweat. Must have been due to the stress that’s been fuelling me for the last two weeks.

7:15 A.M. Head to the car and drive to work, happy that it’s all over. It’s hard to concentrate while driving. The sun felt like it was burning holes in my cornea. Put on loud rock and sang along so that I wouldn’t fall asleep. (Apparently I shouldn’t be driving when “up” but I can’t help it.)
Got to school around 8 and calculated all the grades. Tons of students failed. I’ve stopped feeling bad for them. If they choose not to hand in assignments, if they choose not to re-sit their tests, if they choose not to attend class, and if they choose to do their exams really badly, then I don’t care anymore. In my opinion, they deserve to fail.

10 A.M. Meeting with the high school coordinator and homeroom teacher for grade 12. The vast majority were not just failing, they were bombing. 30%, 25%, 3%… Shockingly, they just added on grades instead of curving the grades. They decided to bring everyone up to 60% so that no one would fail. “By the time they get to grade 12, their parents have already spent millions on their education. How can we not let them graduate?” said the homeroom teacher. I was appalled to hear this; even more appalled to see that they desperately wanted everyone to graduate, despite the fact that they hadn’t done an ounce of work the whole year.

I decided to let the issue rest and went to collect my final pay cheque. Here’s where I start to feel the anger consume me. I was only being paid half my salary. Apparently I hadn’t been to school… during the exams… when I didn’t have classes… after all my classes had ended. Didn’t make any sense to me. I’m a part time teacher, who comes in for classes and leaves right after they end. I don’t understand how they could assume I wasn’t working. I was slaving my butt off to mark assignments and papers. How can I be penalised for it?

I refused to stick around for the meeting. I will not be attending graduation tomorrow. And I will also not return the exam papers until I get the money, in cash, delivered to me. I refuse to be exploited. I refuse to let this pass. I refuse to become the victim of a corrupt woman’s spend thriftiness. The woman in question is perhaps the only employer who asks for her teachers to cut their salaries. When she asked me come in again for the next academic year, she said that she’d like me to charge ten thousand less. Doesn’t make sense! Why on earth would I want to work for someone who doesn’t want to raise my pay every now and then, and instead, wants to decrease it? I’m glad I’ve left that pathetic excuse of a school. I’m glad it’s over. I can finally move on and work with decent and professional people.