Dear Aunty

Dear aunty,

Thank you for asking when I’m getting married. I assume you asked because you believe it is the next logical step in my life and you’d like to be there for me.

I’m touched. Truly, truly touched and I, too, would like to be there for you for your next logical step which is death. So when exactly will that be aunty? Could you please provide me with a date, time and location so that I don’t accidentally miss the funeral? And could you please let me know what type of mourning you expect in advance? Wailing, theatrical and over the top or restrained?

And thank you for telling me you know a very nice boy you could get me in touch with. I happen to know a great euthanasia clinic in Switzerland I could send you the details for.

Lots of love from the deep pits of my heart & soul,

Nabiha Meher

Swiss clinic idea via @Eskriv