Lock up the lazy bloggers?

A few months ago, our social conscience, the greatest most ethical journalists in the world, Cafe Pyala, blatantly lied about me and even after being informed they were incorrect, they didn’t correct their error. I didn’t want it removed at all because I want the world to see just how easily people lie about bipolar people (by assuming the worst in us) simply because we are bipolar. I want this to remain up there forever so that I can convince any manic bipolar person not to come out to the public. Many think writing an article like I did will be a wonderful idea. It’s not. Truth be told, I regret coming out because society isn’t ready. And even those who claim they are sensitive to my disability really aren’t and end up assuming all sorts of things about me based on stereotypes. For example, if I rant or make an angry statement, people end up assuming I’m manic or having some severe rage. I can no longer just be annoyed or amused. Everyone will assume an extreme.

But back to Pyala who can’t even spell my name correctly (it’s Shaikh with an A). Seems rather lazy not to check how I spell it but anyway… Pyala claims I invaded a journalist’s privacy when I did no such thing. The journalist in question had all these details up on line. But in order to mock a bipolar woman, I guess it’s ok to define reading something that’s publicly available to all as “invasion of privacy”. Secondly, no summer plans could possibly get ruined because the profile is very old. Unless Pyala thinks I have a time machine, I cannot possibly ruin someone’s plans that have already occurred.

But that’s not my point. My main point here is that any of us can selectively use tweets to defame anyone. And here are some of Pyala’s tweets to analyze:

Cretin, a word so loaded, so abusive is easily used by Pyala. It mocks the weak, the infirm.

Apparently the very intellectual team is unaware that words like lunatic aren’t ok to use. They are actually unaware that words like lunatic are extremely demeaning to those of us with mental health issues. Yeah, I buy that.

Pyala’s tweets aren’t free of misogyny either.

Ah yes, if a woman’s a presenter, then her appearance is fair game. And if her haircut is bad, it’s because her husband cut it at home because men can’t cut hair and women MUST look good.

I have many more but I’m saving them for a workshop. Moving on to ad hominems:

Maybe because they’re in good company?

And here’s Mr XYZ making a personal attack on another author on facebook. Don’t worry, I’ve protected his identity. I know who the team members are and unlike most Pakistanis, the last thing I want is to get back at them by telling the world who they are (most people already know anyway). Logical deconstruction and the fallacies they constantly provide me are the best revenge.

The Pyala team, just like the rest of us, loves to preach but not act. I’m getting tired of being someone who is always ready to point out flaws but never reflect. I’m tired of Pakistanis being so unhappy in life that the only satisfaction we get is by being nasty and then basking in our own intellectual glory. I want no part of it. And I do, indeed, deeply fear the massive backlash I will face because of this.

Part of the problem

I’m irritated. I’m irritated because I live in a country where people can’t see themselves as a systemic part of the problem, only as saviours & champions. One would think that adults would realise that when someone refers to say the elite, or the rich, then they are referring to the collective, looking at it critically and not targeting individuals. Perhaps our persecution complex has become so deep rooted that only deprogramming will remove it…

I’ll give you an example. A few days ago I was talking to someone about the fashion industry and it lead to a conversation about how we all perpetuate the beauty myth. We are all part of the system that allows it to flourish. Whining about it without challenging it is ludicrous.

At one point, I said: “mothers, too, force their daughters to comply with norms like encouraging them to wear high heels and ignore the pain.” At that point, my mother & sister went into uproar. Total outrage. “No they don’t! No mother I know does that!” My mother then added, “I never did that that to you!” Clearly they weren’t making the effort to listen to my words. They were simply assuming that I was referring to my mother (because any daughter who uses the word “mother” must only be talking about her mother, right?). I told them both to watch Toddlers & Tiaras.

My mother may not have forced me into high heels but perhaps she’s forgotten that she had to bribe me in order to endure waxing at a young age. I remember crying & hiding and could only be coaxed to endure it if I was given enough candy, money and comic books. Of course, this then lead to a very jealous younger brother who went ahead & got his arms waxed because he too wanted candy. Poor thing. I don’t blame him.

Deliberating inflicting pain on your daughter simply out of the fear that her hairy body will turn men away can definitely be classified as anti feminist. And just because she, a feminist, chose to do this, doesn’t make this ok. Nor does her association with WAF give her a free pass. She is part of the system that encouraged her to raise a daughter who, like most women, hated her body for years. Feminists aren’t immune to it at all.

Pakistan is flawed because we are flawed. Pakistan is corrupt because we are corrupt. And nepotism, which we only protest when the Bhutto’s perpetuate it, is rampant, accepted and common. This is a system that we are all part of and simply pointing fingers will do nothing but create a whiny culture with a severe persecution complex. Acknowledging oneself as part of the problem can lead to change.

PS: this post was inspired by an aunty who unfollowed me on twitter. See here’s the thing. This aunty was VERY encouraging until I tweeted about her son harasses women. I guess seeing me out her flesh & blood was too much for her. It’s ok for me to be critical of anyone who isn’t related to her it seems. Ironically this aunty is also a “champion & saviour” of women’s rights. Like most elite feminists, she gives elite men a free pass to do as they please. They aren’t part of the system or part of the problem in her worldview. I think this explains why so much of our activism is unsuccessful.