As an unpublished, disillusioned feminist writer, I don’t make money. My writing is considered too controversial and bleak. I’m very black and white I will admit. My short stint in a bank left me depressed and I felt terribly guilty about the capitalist money I was making. I can not seem to compromise my feminist principles with big corporations. I’d rather not make money. I would like to sleep at night. I would love to do research at an NGO but I am too irritated with them at this point. Outside they display boards stating “we are non-hierarchical and feminist” and once inside I am shocked by the deceit. They are hierarchical. They are not very feminist. They are extremely judgemental and unyielding. They do not pay well.
So I’m not making money. And frankly right now I am tired of Lahore with all its superficial hedonistic lifestyle. And I’m also dreading Ramzan because the country will shut down for a whole month. I miss Toronto and I never thought I would say this, but I miss York University—the insanely ugly campus, the pubs, the energy, and especially my Women’s Studies classes. I want out. I want to go back. And I want money.
So rape me Musharraf. Help me out. You state that all we, the women of Pakistan, have to do in order to get a Canadian citizenship and become a millionaire is get raped. I want out. I no longer want my green passport that makes me state my religion and my father’s name instead of my mother’s. I never again want to sign a form stating that I believe Ahmedis to be non-Muslims because I don’t. I don’t like your bullshit “enlightened moderation”. So help me Musharraf. Rape me. Do it publicly. Rape me Musharraf and let’s broadcast it the world over. And then… I will seek refuge in Canada and maybe I will get lots of money. Hell, it might even help save your tarnished image at this point because this rape will finally produce a woman who wants to get raped in order to make money and get a Canadian citizenship. So rape me Musharraf, I want out, I want to get away from you, you useless puppet.
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I am woman, hear me roar 
old piece. written in response to the bastard’s stupid comments.
Controversial piece, no? 😉
i love it. ’tis my favourite.
is it u writing all this?? i cant believe that u r that much frustrated from Pakistan. Mam this is life here and we have to enjoy this as we are common men and a common man is not allowed to change the system.
as i have never been through a person who hate/dont want to write his/her religion on passport form (well it is nearly on every form) and also not willing to write his/her father’s name. so plz dont mind to answer that wht do u feel while asked to give these information on any kind of form??? and what is the prob in it??? Plz i request u, do not take it offensive.
Hassan, this is a very sarcastic piece. I definitely don’t want to be raped! As for all the statements, they were what I was feeling at the time. I wrote this over two years ago. I’m not offended at all. You asked some very honest questions. I also want to clarify that I don’t hate this country at all. In fact, I have declared in my latest post that I love it. It’s my home.
I don’t want to write my father’s name because I should be given an option to write my mother’s if I want. She too is as capable a parent as my father. What’s worse is that married women have to write their husband’s name. It makes them the men’s property. If it’s important to be identified by your spouse, then why aren’t men asked to state their wives names? This is highly sexists; therefore I object.
I don’t want to declare my religion because it is my personal belief. I once tried to have “none” written on my passport, but they refused because apparently everyone in Pakistan has a religion. What do atheists do? They are kept closeted. They are made to be silent about their religious affiliation. Secondly, religion is often used as a tool to suppress people in Pakistan. When a non-Muslim is made to declare their religion, they are a target. My biggest problem is that the government is clumping us into very different categories and one of the most controversial one is religion. Pakistan is meant to be a secular state. Read some of Jinnah’s speeches and you will see that he specifically didn’t want religion to be part of the state. By categorizing people, we are dividing them. Isn’t it bad enough that people don’t call themselves Pakistani, but Hindu, Sindhi etc. We need the government to stop this division and focus on uniting the country. Our motto is, after all, “Unity, Faith, Discipline.”
In Bangladesh you get to write your mother’s name as well as your father’s on all forms requiring such silly things.
wow nice. Now that means one is identified with both parents- not just the father. Plus a woman always knows if a child is hers, but does a man? 🙂
i got ur meaning of rape me Musharaf so no need to explain, I know what does it means in context
well woman make this wrong perception or take it in wrong way of belonging to her husband doesn’t meant u r men’s property.
Jinnah doesn’t want to have a state for Muslims only (plz note the keyword is only). He has his members like Sir Aga Khan III who worked for Pakistan and Quaid-e-Azam was himself a Shia (a sect which is highly targeted by so called Muslims of Pakistan). These are the ppl of Pakistan (basically the typical Mullas) who are behind all this situation. Remember they even charged fatwa against Allama Iqbal for his famous poem Shikwa and just bcoz of that he had to give his another gift Jawab-e-Shikwa.
If Quaid’s rules were followed then we could be in this situation.
Long Live Pakistan.
Hi there,
i just read your piece and i have to say it precise and to the point and esp true:)
i just hope to live to see the day when our country is at peace with itself.
Hey Farrukh,
Thanks! And I also long for the day when our country is at peace with itself.
if you are currently in Pakistan at least you are with your close relatives….etc
iam working in Dubai for the last almost 3 years now and it’s so painfull to see from afar this unfolding tragedy.
i esp. went to karachi to vote for jan 08 elections but as u know they were postponed.
anyways it was to be useless as on 18th of feb, my father found out that our whole family was not even in the voters list, even though my father had filled the form to register all the family.
this is called pre-poll rigging. i wanted to vote and make a change but alas! it was not meant to be:)
every day there is more bad news comming from pakistan. but if we are not able to have an independent judiciary then this cirus would continue until people just explode in anger at this in-justice.
I’m very sorry to hear that Farrukh! Do write down your experience and I’ll put it up here if you like.
every day there is more bad news comming from pakistan. but if we are not able to have an independent judiciary then this circus would continue until people just explode in anger at this in-justice.
where in pakistan r u located? if you are in karachi then u would understand easily!
in Karachi there is s monster called MQM. I live in defence NA-250 and this time round they deleted the names of non-urdu speaking voters from the list and i read about one sindhi family who were turned away from the polling station by MQM gundas because they recognized them as sindhis and hense knew they would be voting for their opponents. this list goes on……
MQM had local as well as fed/sind govt machinery to support them. in my area the MQM has one i think only once before and not in the last 4 previous elections. Youtube is full of videos made by people with secret cameras of people being given 7 -8 ballots each.
Yes, I have heard all this. Very sorry to hear all this.
i just now read your ” Delusional Punjabis ” and i must say it was excellent.
how come you haven’t made a name as a top journalist?
I’m going to do my masters in creative writing so let’s see how things go from there. Thank you!
all the very best for your masters!!
Iam sure you will make it.<:
Excellent work in response to Dictator wordings, I my self is a feminist (Too odd to listen a male and a feminist), But I am. and i do my thesis on “Benazir Bhutto as a feminist Leader”. and good luck for your masters. whats your majors? and thesis topic?
Mr Faraz it’s wonderful to hear a man say he’s a feminist. I know very few who are comfortable enough to say so! Please do let me know when you write your book. It’s seems very interesting and I would love to read it.
I’ve applied for my masters in creative writing to various universities. Haven’t hear from them yet since I just sent the applications this week. Please keep your fingers crossed for me!
It was mean of Musharraf to say that raped women in Pakistan were making hue and cry to make money or get visas. The crux of the matter is that nobody should guage another, but that kind of civilization is nowhere.
In America you are fingerprinted in the name of national security, in Europe it is not allowed to speak against holocaust but you probably know this better than me being at York. Men have made the social rules that benefit them, give them prioirity and authority. Its sexist to ask for only the husband’s name from a wife and not wife’s name from her spouse.
But what is right, is the claim of Israel and their premeptive strike policy right, what is the worth of shia – sunni conflict other than to get political mileage. You believe Pakistan should be secular, should it be like hindu dominant India? The people benficiary at present want to retain the status quo, thats the irony. Everybody make hue and cry when they are not in power but then suddenly they forget the things when tide turns their way.
In politics the champion of democracy Benazir, the ever right Imran Khan, Jamaat-Islami all welcomed Musharraf when he threw out Nawaz (elected prime miniter) whom they could not ouster themselves.
Now the present issue of Judges and the debate that there are difficulties in their restoration just because the President doesnot want it. Who is he to decide and where does he draw his power. He mostly draws it from army whose personnel are beneficiaries as long as he stays there. None of them dare say what principled stand should be because it benefits them.
Islam is good but who faithfully practice it. Where does it says in judaism or any religion the things their followers are doing. I am an average person but whereever I look there are hypocrates. Maybe we should cryogenically freeze our bodies and take our chance after another millenium.
Amazing piece, Nabina. It’s so sad when a nation is divided to a point where it can’t decide between right and wrong. No wonder Pakistan is in trouble.
And I feel sorry for Ahmedis. Their civil, human and religious rights must be protected.
Thanks 🙂 I agree. Our attitude towards Ahmedis and all other minorities needs to change.