“Come participate in my happiness!” they all say to me, over and over again, the same fucking phrase so oft regurgitated that it has lost all power, all meaning, becoming a string of words that go in one ear and out another.
“Your happiness is my misery!” I tell them, the same fucking phrase of so oft regurgitated that it has lost all power, all meaning, becoming a string of words that go in one ear and out another.
Your happiness, my misery; it’s all one & the same when it comes to wedding related ostentatious “look at me I am Punjabi loin ROAARRR!” events that I can’t stand; these “functions”, these displays of wealth, these symbols of power make my blood boil.
I am not interested, I maintain, over and over again, in wasting my precious time with something that will upset me, aggravate me, and make me angry & venomous. Weddings turn me into Euripides’ Medea, an untameable, outraged virago, ready to sacrifice her own for a betrayal. And what a betrayal you are dear DNA sharers! What a betrayal!
When you say that my misery makes you happy I feel betrayed. I feel cheated on. I feel like I’m being reduced to insignificance while you place yourself on an undeserved pedestal. I feel like I’m being asked to sacrifice MY happiness for yours for no good reason other than the fact that you want to show off your popularity. “Look at me!” these weddings scream. “I am so rich, so popular!”
No, thank you, but I am not interested in helping anyone perpetuate a myth of family unity. And I am not willing to sacrifice my mental health for you, even if I do love you. Love & misery go hand in hand in seems, for me, the Punjabi wedding avoider. How can it not when it seems that they revel in my misery.
Your misery is my happiness is what you seem to be telling me, illogically.
Shall we deconstruct? Let’s.
“Share my happiness” they say, as if happiness is something like a candy bar we can split into two. The message this sends me is one of conformity. Don’t dare to be different. You will not belong. Happiness should, apparently, mean one and the same to everyone.
Disagreements are not tolerated it seems. The right to define what happiness is for me isn’t tolerated it seems.
“I do not ask you to eat pork!” I once yelled. Asking me to come to a wedding is like asking me to shove aside my principles for one day. How convenient that it’s ok to ask me to do so, but if asked to do something they detest for me, I wonder if they ever will. I will not try to even find out because I do not think that those who revel in my misery have any real love for me.
It takes a particularly sick & twisted, sinister mind to revel in my misery, declaring it happiness. I can’t help but question this weird definition of love. What kind of love is this, this oppressive emotion that relies on my misery in order to define the opposite?
From now on, no more. No more will I indulge any more of this “share my happiness” bullshit. For you see, your happiness is my misery.
I am woman, hear me roar 
I think you have a complex. You do have money, but maybe not as much as rest of family. Hence you feel you cant fit in.
Or you might just generally be unpleasant.
HAHAHAHAHA. I loveeee how people who don’t get it but HAVE TO say something say something stupid, hence reflecting their low level of thought and IQ. Just love it.
And yes, I’m incredibly unpleasant to people who are stupid. It’s just hard not to think about Darwin Awards when talking to people who don’t have brains.
Case in point…
This blog is refreshingly honest. The thought of having to sit through someone’s obscenely wasteful wedding and having to make idle conversations with strangers makes my skin crawl. But I always thought there was something wrong with me as everyone else seemed so excited to go to these things. Good to know there are other people who hate weddings as much as I do.
there’s actually quite a few people! But most go anyway & then rant about it. And thank you.
I love this. People think I’m weird for not getting all excited and making efforts that they make before going to a wedding. I avoid weddings but if I absolutely have to go, I sit in the corner and play games on my cellphone, psp, tablet… whatever I have at the moment.